Wednesday, March 25, 2009

ER and Pissed Off

We had our first official ER visit this weekend. Saturday morning I was cutting some fabric for an appliqué and E was coloring on the chalkboard. L comes in with a face full of snot. I set the scissors down on the table an turned around to grab a tissue. By the time I turned back around E was screaming and blood was streaming from her hand. L was holding the scissors. I quickly staunched the blood and E was a big girl and didn't cry too much.

I carried her down to the kitchen and removed all the tissues and replaced them with paper towel. E was good about maintaining pressure while I calmed L down. She kept repeating "I bleeded E" When the bleeding was controlled I realized I could see her bone sticking out. We needed to go to the ER. I called A at work and told him to come home.

I dressed E and myself, cleaned up the blood an got a cup of Gatorade for E so she didn't bottom out on me. A gets home and immediately starts yelling at me. Why can't I just take her to the urgent care, why do I want to take her to children's. He blamed me for the cut and insinuated that I was a bad mother. I loaded E in the car and called my mom to meet me at children's. Then I called my dad an arranged for him to watch L so A could go back to work. I was furious.

E got her hand glued and steri-stripped. The doctor said it was lucky she had not cut any tendons. They also splinted it so she doesn't hurt it any further. They were afraid to stitch it because she might pull them out. We followed up with her pediatrician yesterday and all looks well. E is very proud of her big boo boo.

A apologized to me but he later said some other hurtful things so I am still feeling very angry towards him. I hate feeling this way. Over the last week he has told me I am selfish, a bad mother and that I am stupid. I am trying to be forgiving due to the stress but it is starting to tear me down :( Honestly, apologizing doesn't make me forget you said it.

Friday, March 20, 2009

OGT Week is Over!

The state test for graduation was this week. It is stressful for everyone involved. Our whole school schedule changes making it hard to plan for. This year as a part-time teacher I am suppose to be done at 12:20. I arranged for the girls school to do lunch/recess as an extra to the day but not to have to pay for the whole day. I have to pick them up by 12:45 or I have to pay for an extra hour at $8/hr/child. So $16/hr for me. They are really lenient and if I am few minutes late they never charge me. In fact, they told me to just keep track of the hours and add it to my monthly check. I make an effort to get there early when I can just to make up for the extra few minutes here and there.

Anyway, this week we have testing in the morning until 10am. The school then starts an abbreviated schedule which means I don't get done teaching until 1:25pm. All of this week I have had to pay for an extra hour so it has cost me $80 extra. In one week the girls have spring break but my break is the following week. One of the teachers at their school is kind enough to keep kids at her house during the break but it is $25/day/kid, so $50/day. Uggg, an extra $250 for that week. My sister is going to help us with 2 days but still. I will have an extra $230 is school expenses this month.

I wanted to do something small for me during my break but I will be spending our "extra" on school so I guess I will be home digging in the garden and sewing that week.

In garden news, we started some seedling this past week and several of the plants have already sprouted. All five small lettuce starters are going 3/5 spinach, 2 of the tomatoes and 3 of the cucumbers. Make me feel like it is the start of spring for real today!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Dresses and More.

I just finished the headbands that match the girls St. Patrick's Day dresses. The dresses are bright green with a swiss dot pattern. I made them very full so that they would twirl. I usually shop for the girls at Janie and Jack, Gymboree or Gap so I go in for the matching look. I wanted to create matching hair accessories for the dresses.

Since E, cut a patch of hair about 1 inch long recently, we have been reduced to headbands. I went to the "bowtiques" online to see if I could find matching headbands. I didn't know how to make any myself. I was shocked to see they were charging $12 per headband. Way too much for me so I decided to make them myself. I research woven headbands on the internet and found directions.

It took me many false starts to figure out how to make the four ribbon braid but I succeeded. E's headband is green with white diamonds down the middle. L's is white with green diamonds. They match perfectly. I am so excited for tomorrow so they can wear them. Overall cost per headband $0.80. I saved over $22 making them myself. I am feeling pretty proud at the moment!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Very Bad News

My sister, N is expecting twins. From the start it has been a complete surprise. Her youngest daughter is only 9 months old. She was upset when she found out she was expecting. They set her up for a dating u/s since she didn't know when she had gotten pregnant. At that u/s they discovered she was expect twins. She was overwhelmed at the thought a 3 year old, 1 year old and twins. They mentioned they could not find a membrane between the babies but told her not to worry. Monoamniotic twins happen in less than 1% of all twin pregnancies.

A week later, they called and told her to set up an appointment with a perinatologist for a level 2 u/s to see if they could find a membrane. That u/s was today. She just called to let me know that the twins are indeed monoamniotic and that they cords are already tangled. She is only 14w2d. At best the survival rate is about 50%. At this point there is nothing she can do except wait to be 24 weeks when the twins would be viable.

I am crushed for her. If you are the praying type, she could use your prayers right now.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Fever :(

L is sick. Really sick not just a cold but a 104 degree fever. She started getting sick on Sunday, she woke up all croupy sounding. This kid never gets sick, she has never been on antibiotics, has never missed a day of school/daycare, so I was concerned. No fever though so we just let her go about her day. She played and acted fine so we weren't concerned.

This morning, I asked A to check her at 6:30 for fever while I was taking a shower so I could call into work if needed. He swore she was fine. Gets her breakfast and leaves to go to work. I sit down to eat my breakfast at 7:30 and I notice she hasn't eaten anything. Normally L eats three breakfasts. It is her favorite meal. I pick her up to get her out of her chair and realize she is burning up. There is no way A could have missed it when he carried her down this morning unless he didn't want to admit it or never checked on her like I asked. I take her temp and it is 102.2. Great, I have to be at work in 40 min. There is no way they can find a sub that quick.

I call A and tell him, I will take both girls with me to drop off E at school and take L with me to work. He needs to pick her up by 9 when I start actual teaching. He gets mad, tells me "Her fever isn't really that high" I responded with I just took it. He asks if she can't just go to school anyway. She has a fever and is miserable let alone exposing all the other kids at school. Plus her teachers would notice and then just call him to come get her anyway. I quietly remind him that if he had actually checked her like I asked him to, I would be the one staying home not him. I can't do that now. Finally he agrees to come home.

I get home from work at 1pm, ask A how she is doing. He responds fine a little tired. and that she is laying down in our bed. I look in the room and she is sleeping so I make my lunch and play with E. L wakes up at 3 and needs to go to the bathroom. I pick her up and she is shaking with fever. I take her temp and it is 104.2. Yikes! I called the doctor, he said to give her motrin, if it spikes above 104 again to take her to urgent care otherwise we are on the call back list for the morning. So now we wait.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

More Parties

We were invited to one of the girls schoolmates parties this weekend. I felt obligated to go since I was worried not many people would show up. Why? Because she has two mommies and our school is located in a very conservative area. I really like both of the moms and I wanted them to know that I like them. So I said yes, usually I say no to parties for school people, especially ones the girls do not know well.

Turns out today was beautiful. 73 degrees and sunny. Ahhhh... I really did not want to go but I made the girls come in from playing and take a shower this afternoon so we could go. We got her candyland as a present. I wrapped it in butcher paper that I use to tracing patterns and the girls decorated it with stickers and markers. I even got E to practice writing by having her do the to and from part. She didn't balk since it was a "fun" activity.

The party was at one of those indoor jump places and I was late since I couldn't find it at first. When we got there both girls ran off to play and I found a table of moms from the school. They had all been there early since one of the other children from school had also had her party there earlier in the day. These are highly educated women, two have engineering degrees and another is an OT. Yet, the conversation was terrible all about permissive parenting. I heard one mom say she let her 1st grader watch Hannah Montana since she would get it from other children anyway. I mean if you want to let her watch by all means do so but don't justify it. E and L have never watched nor have they asked.

Another said she makes a separate dinner for one of her children since he is a "picky" eater. The child doesn't have any sensory problems, allergies etc she told us. It was just that he only wants to eat hot dogs and grilled cheese.

By the time we got to the cake part I was ready to get out of there. I really feel like I should have something in common with these moms. We all are well educated women, have children the same age, live in the same area, yet I left feeling even more alienated. I feel even worse for judging them and frustrated at them all the same. I guess that is one thing I won't miss here.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Ahh, Friday

The weather was amazing today. We finally got out of the house with the girls. They spent about 2 hours running around the yard and digging in the dirt. E got a gardening kit for the birthday that she is very anxious to use. We need to till up the garden this week and get some more seedlings started inside. I am going to let E do the planting with her new set. She also got a good from the Let Read and Find Out series on plants and how they mature. We will be reading that in depth so that she understands what we are doing.

We still have not heard from any schools. I would guess that not getting an outright denial is good but the longer we wait the more anxious I get. A firm has always taken them on a trip on April 16th as a thank-you for busy season. This year they were talking about just closing the office and giving everyone the day off. If that happens, A and I had planned to take a four day weekend out to wherever we are moving to look at house, schools, jobs for me etc. I hope we hear soon so we can make reservations and call ahead to schools. The suspense is driving me batty!

A also forgot to get onions this week. I checked the list, they are clearly on there but when I started cooking tonights dinner I realized we were out of onions. I had intended to make potato kudgel but without onions that was out. Even worse I had already started to grate the potatoes and those went to waste. Grr, the list was 25 items long and we buy onions constantly! I asked him to buy some on the way home but he brought carry-out instead. Now I will have to take both girls out tomorrow to get onions. Not looking forward to that!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Sick Day

I took a day off yesterday, I took a sick day. It was my first in almost three years. I usually hoard my days to use for the girls or for my maternity leaves. I think knowing I won't be able to use them next year also helped. A was very supportive of my choice. I have had a miserable cold/flu thing going on and I just needed to rest. I spent the time the girls were at school sleeping. Heaven.

Today was a PD day at work. We had a shortened schedule and early dismissal for students. We spent 3 hours talking about the pros and cons of homework. I tend to be anti-homework. At my previous job at an urban HS, I never gave homework. The kids life was so chaotic, most of them worked or took care of younger siblings after school. Homework was a luxury for time and a quiet place. At this job, I find students need more guided practice in class. I don't need to beat them over the head with the same type of problem over and over again. Most of these students also do multiple after school activities, which means they don't start homwork until 9pm or later.

I usually give in class work that if they don't finish becomes homework. About 75% of students finish the homework in class where I can help them if need be. The other 25% finish it at home in minimal time. I feel like it gives them the practice they need without overloading their evenings. For the PD, I was randomly placed in the pro-homework groups. It was interesting to think from the pro perspective. Not enough to change my mind but interesting.

No sewing accomplished the last two days and probably not tomorrow I am too sick. I did make a tasty dinner tonight, Mexican Stuffed Green Peppers. Yum!

Monday, March 2, 2009

New Ideas

Monday's are swimming lesson days in our house. We spend 2 hours of our precious evening time at the YMCA so that E can learn to swim. Since A is in busy season I have to cover it all. I pre-cook dinner, take the girls to the Y, sit through swimming, get E dresses bring them home and then finish cooking dinner. By the time the girls are in bed, I am exhausted.

A gets home tonight at 7:45. Dinner is over and cleaned up, the girls are dressed in PJ's and I'm about to read a chapter of their book to them. He immediately starts in on me. Did you brush their teeth? Have you made a grocery list? How much laundry have you done? When I told him none, he gives this huge theatrical sigh, the says "I guess I will do it". I did 4 loads the other day, it is not like he doesn't have clean clothes or anything. So I made the menu and grocery list and he went out shopping. I hope it takes him forever to get it done. I just don't want to deal with it right now. I know he is busy at work but it is no reason to take it out on me or the girls.

The girls are upstairs supposedly sleeping but I can hear L yelling at E. I wish I could get some sewing done but the machine is in the office right across from their room. They would never sleep with the click-clack noise. I got some great fat quarters to make a gift for my friends TL with the new baby. I am going to make matching burp clothes and bibs. I got some appliqués and ribbon to decorate them even a "W" for the baby's name. I also got two new fabrics for dresses and a fat quarters pack to make a patchwork skirt. I want to make a matching top somehow but I don't know how to tie it into the skirt. I may try buying a white collored top and sewing a patch on as an appliqué but they remains to be seen.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Parties and Dresses

Today is my BIL, P's birthday and my brother's long term girlfriend, M's birthdays. My sisters birthday was Thursday, so we went to a party at my mom/sisters house. It is really my mom's house, the one I lived in during high school. When my sister and BIL got pregnant with my niece, L they couldn't afford rent and daycare so they moved in with my mom. At the time my mom was single and she helped them adjust to a new baby. Now that my mom is getting married, she lives at G's house with him. My sister is still living at my mom's house three years later so I am not sure whose house it really is anymore.

Anyway, as usual we knew what we wanted to get people but waited until the last moment to actually purchase the gifts. My sisters gift and my BILs gift need to be purchased online and we just gave them cards indicating to check their email for the links. For, M, my brother's long term girlfriend, we want to get alcohol/glass since it was her 21st birthday. We went to World Market and found some awesome blue swirled martini glasses and we got her a bottle of champagne to celebrate. So much fun! She was very excited about the glasses. She told me she and her roommate would be getting a ton of use from them. I have the hardest time buying for her and finding a gift I was excited about giving made me really happy.

Before the party, I spent the morning finishing sewing E's "princess" dress. She is currently obsessed with wearing dresses and they have to twirl like a princess. I decided to relearn to sew since it was much cheaper than buying so many dresses. The first dress turned out smaller than I anticipated so L ended up getting it. The second dress was a green dress with tint white dots all over. It looks amazing and I learned how to put a zipper in. I am making a matching one for L for St. Patrick's Day. E wanted her dress to be pink so I got more fabric from Joann's and I finished it today. I am proud of how it turned out and we got a compliment on it at World Market. The lady was shocked when I told her I had sewed it!

I think I am going to try a pattern I saw for bibs and matching burp clothes for my friends who just had a baby girl. I need to find some coordinating fabric though and I hate choosing colors. I need to take my mom or sister along I guess. I have a million projects I want to start and not enough time!