Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Making Progress

I think we finally have some decisions made. A did not get into any of his top choices so we agreed for me to go to school next year. Yeah!

Philadelphia has 5 of the type of Master's program I would like to do. There are only about 100 in the nation to it makes it easier on people from that area to get admitted. I did a ton a research and have settled on Drexel as my top choice. The first reason is that the first step (my BSN) is only 11 months of class there. It is notorious as very intense but I would rather do it that way. Secondly, they have an early assurance program that allows you to apply to the Master's program, get the required work experience and then return for the degree. Finally, the pre-requirements were reasonable.

A has been apply for jobs in the area and we will move as soon as he has an excellent job and we sell the house. Very exciting.

I have spent the last 2 days on the phone straitening out the courses I need to take and smoothing over my application to our local community college. Hopefully, I will begin class Tuesday.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

ER and Pissed Off

We had our first official ER visit this weekend. Saturday morning I was cutting some fabric for an appliqué and E was coloring on the chalkboard. L comes in with a face full of snot. I set the scissors down on the table an turned around to grab a tissue. By the time I turned back around E was screaming and blood was streaming from her hand. L was holding the scissors. I quickly staunched the blood and E was a big girl and didn't cry too much.

I carried her down to the kitchen and removed all the tissues and replaced them with paper towel. E was good about maintaining pressure while I calmed L down. She kept repeating "I bleeded E" When the bleeding was controlled I realized I could see her bone sticking out. We needed to go to the ER. I called A at work and told him to come home.

I dressed E and myself, cleaned up the blood an got a cup of Gatorade for E so she didn't bottom out on me. A gets home and immediately starts yelling at me. Why can't I just take her to the urgent care, why do I want to take her to children's. He blamed me for the cut and insinuated that I was a bad mother. I loaded E in the car and called my mom to meet me at children's. Then I called my dad an arranged for him to watch L so A could go back to work. I was furious.

E got her hand glued and steri-stripped. The doctor said it was lucky she had not cut any tendons. They also splinted it so she doesn't hurt it any further. They were afraid to stitch it because she might pull them out. We followed up with her pediatrician yesterday and all looks well. E is very proud of her big boo boo.

A apologized to me but he later said some other hurtful things so I am still feeling very angry towards him. I hate feeling this way. Over the last week he has told me I am selfish, a bad mother and that I am stupid. I am trying to be forgiving due to the stress but it is starting to tear me down :( Honestly, apologizing doesn't make me forget you said it.

Friday, March 20, 2009

OGT Week is Over!

The state test for graduation was this week. It is stressful for everyone involved. Our whole school schedule changes making it hard to plan for. This year as a part-time teacher I am suppose to be done at 12:20. I arranged for the girls school to do lunch/recess as an extra to the day but not to have to pay for the whole day. I have to pick them up by 12:45 or I have to pay for an extra hour at $8/hr/child. So $16/hr for me. They are really lenient and if I am few minutes late they never charge me. In fact, they told me to just keep track of the hours and add it to my monthly check. I make an effort to get there early when I can just to make up for the extra few minutes here and there.

Anyway, this week we have testing in the morning until 10am. The school then starts an abbreviated schedule which means I don't get done teaching until 1:25pm. All of this week I have had to pay for an extra hour so it has cost me $80 extra. In one week the girls have spring break but my break is the following week. One of the teachers at their school is kind enough to keep kids at her house during the break but it is $25/day/kid, so $50/day. Uggg, an extra $250 for that week. My sister is going to help us with 2 days but still. I will have an extra $230 is school expenses this month.

I wanted to do something small for me during my break but I will be spending our "extra" on school so I guess I will be home digging in the garden and sewing that week.

In garden news, we started some seedling this past week and several of the plants have already sprouted. All five small lettuce starters are going 3/5 spinach, 2 of the tomatoes and 3 of the cucumbers. Make me feel like it is the start of spring for real today!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Dresses and More.

I just finished the headbands that match the girls St. Patrick's Day dresses. The dresses are bright green with a swiss dot pattern. I made them very full so that they would twirl. I usually shop for the girls at Janie and Jack, Gymboree or Gap so I go in for the matching look. I wanted to create matching hair accessories for the dresses.

Since E, cut a patch of hair about 1 inch long recently, we have been reduced to headbands. I went to the "bowtiques" online to see if I could find matching headbands. I didn't know how to make any myself. I was shocked to see they were charging $12 per headband. Way too much for me so I decided to make them myself. I research woven headbands on the internet and found directions.

It took me many false starts to figure out how to make the four ribbon braid but I succeeded. E's headband is green with white diamonds down the middle. L's is white with green diamonds. They match perfectly. I am so excited for tomorrow so they can wear them. Overall cost per headband $0.80. I saved over $22 making them myself. I am feeling pretty proud at the moment!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Very Bad News

My sister, N is expecting twins. From the start it has been a complete surprise. Her youngest daughter is only 9 months old. She was upset when she found out she was expecting. They set her up for a dating u/s since she didn't know when she had gotten pregnant. At that u/s they discovered she was expect twins. She was overwhelmed at the thought a 3 year old, 1 year old and twins. They mentioned they could not find a membrane between the babies but told her not to worry. Monoamniotic twins happen in less than 1% of all twin pregnancies.

A week later, they called and told her to set up an appointment with a perinatologist for a level 2 u/s to see if they could find a membrane. That u/s was today. She just called to let me know that the twins are indeed monoamniotic and that they cords are already tangled. She is only 14w2d. At best the survival rate is about 50%. At this point there is nothing she can do except wait to be 24 weeks when the twins would be viable.

I am crushed for her. If you are the praying type, she could use your prayers right now.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Fever :(

L is sick. Really sick not just a cold but a 104 degree fever. She started getting sick on Sunday, she woke up all croupy sounding. This kid never gets sick, she has never been on antibiotics, has never missed a day of school/daycare, so I was concerned. No fever though so we just let her go about her day. She played and acted fine so we weren't concerned.

This morning, I asked A to check her at 6:30 for fever while I was taking a shower so I could call into work if needed. He swore she was fine. Gets her breakfast and leaves to go to work. I sit down to eat my breakfast at 7:30 and I notice she hasn't eaten anything. Normally L eats three breakfasts. It is her favorite meal. I pick her up to get her out of her chair and realize she is burning up. There is no way A could have missed it when he carried her down this morning unless he didn't want to admit it or never checked on her like I asked. I take her temp and it is 102.2. Great, I have to be at work in 40 min. There is no way they can find a sub that quick.

I call A and tell him, I will take both girls with me to drop off E at school and take L with me to work. He needs to pick her up by 9 when I start actual teaching. He gets mad, tells me "Her fever isn't really that high" I responded with I just took it. He asks if she can't just go to school anyway. She has a fever and is miserable let alone exposing all the other kids at school. Plus her teachers would notice and then just call him to come get her anyway. I quietly remind him that if he had actually checked her like I asked him to, I would be the one staying home not him. I can't do that now. Finally he agrees to come home.

I get home from work at 1pm, ask A how she is doing. He responds fine a little tired. and that she is laying down in our bed. I look in the room and she is sleeping so I make my lunch and play with E. L wakes up at 3 and needs to go to the bathroom. I pick her up and she is shaking with fever. I take her temp and it is 104.2. Yikes! I called the doctor, he said to give her motrin, if it spikes above 104 again to take her to urgent care otherwise we are on the call back list for the morning. So now we wait.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

More Parties

We were invited to one of the girls schoolmates parties this weekend. I felt obligated to go since I was worried not many people would show up. Why? Because she has two mommies and our school is located in a very conservative area. I really like both of the moms and I wanted them to know that I like them. So I said yes, usually I say no to parties for school people, especially ones the girls do not know well.

Turns out today was beautiful. 73 degrees and sunny. Ahhhh... I really did not want to go but I made the girls come in from playing and take a shower this afternoon so we could go. We got her candyland as a present. I wrapped it in butcher paper that I use to tracing patterns and the girls decorated it with stickers and markers. I even got E to practice writing by having her do the to and from part. She didn't balk since it was a "fun" activity.

The party was at one of those indoor jump places and I was late since I couldn't find it at first. When we got there both girls ran off to play and I found a table of moms from the school. They had all been there early since one of the other children from school had also had her party there earlier in the day. These are highly educated women, two have engineering degrees and another is an OT. Yet, the conversation was terrible all about permissive parenting. I heard one mom say she let her 1st grader watch Hannah Montana since she would get it from other children anyway. I mean if you want to let her watch by all means do so but don't justify it. E and L have never watched nor have they asked.

Another said she makes a separate dinner for one of her children since he is a "picky" eater. The child doesn't have any sensory problems, allergies etc she told us. It was just that he only wants to eat hot dogs and grilled cheese.

By the time we got to the cake part I was ready to get out of there. I really feel like I should have something in common with these moms. We all are well educated women, have children the same age, live in the same area, yet I left feeling even more alienated. I feel even worse for judging them and frustrated at them all the same. I guess that is one thing I won't miss here.