ER and Pissed Off

We had our first official ER visit this weekend. Saturday morning I was cutting some fabric for an appliqué and E was coloring on the chalkboard. L comes in with a face full of snot. I set the scissors down on the table an turned around to grab a tissue. By the time I turned back around E was screaming and blood was streaming from her hand. L was holding the scissors. I quickly staunched the blood and E was a big girl and didn't cry too much.

I carried her down to the kitchen and removed all the tissues and replaced them with paper towel. E was good about maintaining pressure while I calmed L down. She kept repeating "I bleeded E" When the bleeding was controlled I realized I could see her bone sticking out. We needed to go to the ER. I called A at work and told him to come home.

I dressed E and myself, cleaned up the blood an got a cup of Gatorade for E so she didn't bottom out on me. A gets home and immediately starts yelling at me. Why can't I just take her to the urgent care, why do I want to take her to children's. He blamed me for the cut and insinuated that I was a bad mother. I loaded E in the car and called my mom to meet me at children's. Then I called my dad an arranged for him to watch L so A could go back to work. I was furious.

E got her hand glued and steri-stripped. The doctor said it was lucky she had not cut any tendons. They also splinted it so she doesn't hurt it any further. They were afraid to stitch it because she might pull them out. We followed up with her pediatrician yesterday and all looks well. E is very proud of her big boo boo.

A apologized to me but he later said some other hurtful things so I am still feeling very angry towards him. I hate feeling this way. Over the last week he has told me I am selfish, a bad mother and that I am stupid. I am trying to be forgiving due to the stress but it is starting to tear me down :( Honestly, apologizing doesn't make me forget you said it.